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Understanding Self-Sabotage: Why We Hold Ourselves Back and How to Overcome It

by Veronique Rioux | Mar 2, 2025 | news

What Is Self-Sabotage?

Self-sabotage is the act of deliberately hindering our own progress, whether in personal relationships, career aspirations, or overall well-being. It often stems from deep-seated fears, limiting beliefs, or unresolved emotional wounds. Self-sabotage can manifest in procrastination, negative self-talk, self-destructive behaviors, or repeated patterns of failure in different areas of life.

Why Do We Self-Sabotage?

Many people unconsciously engage in self-sabotage due to fears of failure, fear of success, or low self-worth. Some common reasons include:

Fear of Failure – The fear of failing can be so overwhelming that we prefer not to try at all. This is often tied to perfectionism and high self-expectations.
Fear of Success – Success can bring new responsibilities, expectations, and changes that feel intimidating. Some may fear outgrowing their current environment or relationships.
Low Self-Worth – Deep-seated feelings of inadequacy lead us to believe we are not worthy of success, love, or happiness.
Unresolved Trauma – Past emotional wounds, particularly from childhood, can create self-defeating patterns in adulthood.
Comfort Zone Attachment – Change can feel uncomfortable, even if it leads to growth. The subconscious mind prefers familiarity, even if it is harmful.
Negative Inner Dialogue – Self-doubt and harsh self-criticism can keep us stuck in cycles of avoidance and inaction.

Signs of Self-Sabotage

Identifying self-sabotaging behaviors is the first step toward breaking free from them. Some common signs include:

Procrastination – Putting off important tasks despite knowing the consequences.
Perfectionism – Setting unrealistic standards that make success unattainable.
Negative Self-Talk – Constantly criticizing oneself or doubting abilities.
Avoiding Challenges – Staying in the comfort zone and refusing to take risks.
Sabotaging Relationships – Creating unnecessary conflicts or pushing people away.
Addictive Behaviors – Using food, alcohol, or other substances as a way to cope with emotions.
Lack of Follow-Through – Starting projects or setting goals but never completing them.
Self-Isolation – Avoiding social interactions or support systems that could help.

How to Overcome Self-Sabotage

Overcoming self-sabotage requires self-awareness, mindset shifts, and intentional action. Here are some strategies to help break free from self-defeating habits:

1. Develop Self-Awareness

Recognizing patterns of self-sabotage is crucial. Journaling, self-reflection, or therapy can help uncover the root causes of these behaviors.

2. Challenge Negative Beliefs

Replace limiting beliefs with empowering thoughts. For example, instead of thinking, “I’m not good enough,” shift to, “I am capable and deserving of success.”

3. Set Realistic Goals

Break down large goals into small, achievable steps. This reduces overwhelm and builds momentum.

4. Practice Self-Compassion

Be kind to yourself. Everyone makes mistakes, but they don’t define your worth or potential.

5. Seek Support

Surround yourself with positive influences. Whether through a support group, coaching, or therapy, having guidance can make a significant difference.

6. Replace Destructive Habits

Identify triggers that lead to self-sabotage and replace them with healthier coping mechanisms, such as mindfulness, exercise, or creative outlets.

7. Step Outside Your Comfort Zone

Growth requires discomfort. Challenge yourself to take small risks and celebrate progress along the way.

8. Stay Accountable

Find an accountability partner or coach to help you stay committed to positive change.

The Role of Therapy in Overcoming Self-Sabotage

Holistic counselling can be a powerful tool in identifying and overcoming self-sabotage. At Vancouver Island Holistic Counselling, we take a whole-person approach to healing, addressing the emotional, mental, and behavioral aspects that contribute to self-sabotaging patterns. Through personalized sessions, we help individuals:

Identify underlying fears and limiting beliefs
Develop healthier thought patterns
Build confidence and self-worth
Create actionable steps to achieve personal and professional goals
Heal past traumas that contribute to self-sabotage

Final Thoughts

Self-sabotage can be a frustrating and discouraging cycle, but it is not permanent. By recognizing the patterns, challenging limiting beliefs, and taking intentional action, you can break free from self-defeating behaviors and create a fulfilling, empowered life. If you are struggling with self-sabotage, seeking professional guidance can provide the support and tools needed to make lasting change.

If you’re ready to take the first step toward self-growth and transformation, Vancouver Island Holistic Counselling is here to support you on your journey. Contact us today to schedule a session and start overcoming self-sabotage for good.

You can also check my post Navigating the Grief and Loss Journey.

Exploring the Genogram and Family Systems in Holistic Therapy Nanaimo 2024

by Veronique Rioux | Dec 1, 2024 | news

When we talk about healing and personal growth in therapy, we often focus on the individual. However, every person is part of a larger web of relationships, dynamics, and histories that profoundly shape who they are, a family system. One of the most powerful tools I use in my holistic counselling practice—both online and in-person in Nanaimo—is the genogram. A genogram is a visual representation of a person’s family relationships and medical history across generations. It serves as a road map, revealing patterns, influences, and underlying dynamics in a family system.

By using a genogram to explore your family system, we can gain insight into recurring patterns of behavior, emotional struggles, and even health issues that may be influencing your life today. This approach helps me guide you toward deeper understanding, healing, and growth. Whether you’re seeking therapy for personal struggles, relationship challenges, or generational trauma, the family system plays a key role in shaping your experiences.

How can a Genogram help us understand our family systems?

A genogram is similar to a family tree, but it’s much more detailed and complex. While a family tree focuses on the lineage—names, birth dates, and relationships—a genogram digs deeper into the emotional and psychological relationships within the family. It also includes information about health, personality traits, patterns of behavior, and significant life events. Through this, it becomes possible to track the influence of family dynamics across generations.

In holistic therapy, I use the genogram to understand the family system and how its history may be affecting you today. Whether we are working together online or in-person in Nanaimo, creating a genogram allows me to see the bigger picture of your life, giving us both a deeper understanding of the challenges you’re facing.

How a Genogram Works in Therapy

cercle and square link together During our sessions, we build your genogram together. I ask you to share details about your immediate family and extended family, including relationships, conflicts, and any significant events or traumas. From there, we can track recurring patterns, such as:

Divorce or separation
Substance abuse
Mental health struggles like depression or anxiety
Relationship patterns, such as codependency or conflict
Parenting styles and generational shifts in discipline
Inherited trauma and unresolved emotional issues

By mapping out these patterns, we begin to see how they affect your current behavior, choices, and mental health. Many people find it eye-opening to discover that certain struggles are not just personal but part of a larger family system passed down through generations.

Understanding Family Systems

The family systems theory is a foundational concept in family therapy, developed by Dr. Murray Bowen. It posits that individuals cannot be understood in isolation from their family unit. Instead, a person’s behavior, emotions, and mental health are influenced by the dynamics within the family system. When one person in the system changes, it affects the entire family.

In this approach, the family is viewed as an interconnected system where each member’s role, behavior, and interactions influence the others. Sometimes, dysfunction in the family system—such as poor communication, unresolved conflict, or rigid roles—leads to emotional distress or unhealthy patterns in one or more members.

Family systems therapy, using tools like the genogram, helps identify these dynamics. By understanding the role each family member plays in the system and how the system has shaped your experiences, we can work together to create change. This insight empowers you to break free from unhealthy cycles and embrace healthier, more supportive ways of relating to yourself and others.

Common Family Patterns Revealed by the Genogram

When building a genogram, certain patterns often come to light that may not have been immediately apparent. Some of these patterns include:

1. Intergenerational Trauma

Trauma can be passed down from one generation to the next, even if it isn’t directly discussed. Unresolved trauma in a parent or grandparent can manifest as anxiety, depression, or dysfunctional relationships in future generations. By identifying these patterns in a genogram, I can help you begin the process of healing inherited trauma, breaking the cycle for yourself and future generations.

2. Role Assignment

Families often assign specific roles to their members, such as the “caretaker,” the “scapegoat,” or the “golden child.” These roles can be limiting and cause stress, especially if they don’t align with the individual’s authentic self. Understanding your role in the family system can help you step out of limiting patterns and embrace more freedom in your personal identity.

3. Communication Patterns

Some families communicate openly and resolve conflicts in healthy ways, while others may avoid difficult conversations or rely on passive-aggressive behaviors. Recognizing the communication patterns in your family system is key to improving how you relate to others in your current relationships.

4. Parenting Styles

How you were parented—and how your parents were parented—can have a profound effect on your own parenting style or how you view authority. A genogram can help identify the ways in which parenting patterns are passed down, enabling you to make conscious choices about the kind of parent you want to be.

5. Emotional Cutoff

Sometimes family members deal with unresolved tension or conflict by cutting off emotional or physical contact. This can create long-lasting rifts that affect not only the individuals involved but the entire family system. Recognizing these emotional cutoffs helps in understanding why certain relationships are strained and how to approach healing.

Healing Through Family Systems Therapy

In both online therapy and in-person sessions in Nanaimo, I use family systems therapy to help you understand and navigate the complex dynamics within your family. The goal is not to place blame or dwell on the past but to understand how these dynamics shape your present behavior, thoughts, and emotions. Through this understanding, we can begin to heal old wounds, create healthier boundaries, and foster better communication.

Some of the therapeutic approaches I integrate into family systems work include:

1. Mindfulness-Based Therapy

Mindfulness practices help you stay grounded in the present moment, even as we explore potentially painful family histories. By developing mindfulness, you can observe your thoughts and emotions without becoming overwhelmed, allowing you to approach your family dynamics with a clearer mind.

2. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

CBT is helpful for identifying and challenging negative thought patterns that may have been shaped by your family system. For example, if you learned to believe that conflict is dangerous or that you’re not worthy of love, CBT helps reframe these beliefs to create healthier ways of thinking.

3. Somatic Therapy

Family trauma can manifest not only in the mind but also in the body. Somatic therapy addresses how past experiences are stored in the body, helping you release physical tension and stress linked to family dynamics.

4. Trauma-Informed Counseling

If your family system includes abuse, neglect, or other forms of trauma, I take a trauma-informed approach to therapy. This means creating a safe, supportive environment where you can explore and process these experiences at your own pace, without feeling pressured or retraumatized.

The Benefits of Online and In-Person Therapy for Family Systems Work

Whether you’re engaging in online therapy or attending in-person sessions in Nanaimo, family systems work can be deeply transformative. I offer flexible options to suit your needs, allowing you to choose the format that works best for you.

1. Online Therapy

For those who are unable to attend in person, online therapy offers a convenient and effective way to explore family systems work from the comfort of your home. Virtual sessions provide the same depth and insight as in-person counseling, with the added benefit of accessibility.

2. In-Person Therapy

In-person therapy in my Nanaimo office offers a tranquil, supportive environment where we can explore your family dynamics and work toward healing. If you prefer face-to-face interaction or feel that the energy of being physically present enhances your experience, in-person sessions can provide a deeper connection.

The Power of Understanding Your Family System

Working with a genogram and exploring your family system can unlock profound insights into the patterns that shape your life. By identifying and understanding these patterns, you can break free from limiting behaviors, heal old wounds, and create healthier, more fulfilling relationships. You might want to learn more by looking at epigenetics post.

At Vancouver Island Holistic Counselling, whether through online therapy or in-person sessions in Nanaimo, I’m here to support you in this journey. Together, we’ll explore your family system, uncover the roots of your struggles, and pave the way for growth, healing, and transformation.

Why Choose Holistic Counselling? Exploring the Whole Self for True Wellness 2024

by Veronique Rioux | Nov 18, 2024 | news

A teardrop of Body, Mind and Spirit making Balance In over 20 years of working as a health and fitness expert at Choose2be.ca, I’ve had the privilege of guiding countless individuals toward improved physical health, injury recovery, and life balance. Over time, I’ve come to realize that wellness isn’t just about the body; it encompasses every aspect of our being. This understanding has inspired my journey into holistic counselling—a practice that addresses the full spectrum of what makes us human.

Holistic counselling takes a comprehensive approach, focusing on the interconnectedness of the mind, body, and soul. It recognizes that true wellness involves more than addressing symptoms; it’s about understanding the root causes of our challenges and nurturing every dimension of our lives.

What Is Holistic Counselling?

Holistic counselling is a therapeutic approach that looks at the whole person rather than isolating individual issues. It acknowledges that everything in our lives is interconnected—our physical health, emotions, relationships, beliefs, environment, and more. By exploring these connections, holistic counselling helps individuals achieve greater balance, self-awareness, and well-being.

Unlike traditional counselling, which may focus primarily on mental or emotional health, holistic counselling integrates practices that address all dimensions of wellness. It’s a dynamic and personalized approach that supports clients in discovering their unique path to healing and growth.

picture of read heart with health with 10 circles around it with different words in each bubbles

The Dimensions of Wellness

True wellness encompasses several interconnected dimensions:

Physical Wellness

Physical wellness includes exercise, nutrition, sleep, and overall bodily health. The state of our body profoundly impacts our mental and emotional well-being—and vice versa. For example, unresolved stress can manifest as physical tension or illness.

Emotional Wellness

Emotional wellness involves understanding, processing, and expressing emotions. Unaddressed emotional pain often surfaces as anxiety, depression, or physical ailments. Holistic counselling creates a safe space to explore and release these feelings.

Spiritual Wellness

Spiritual wellness is about finding meaning and connection beyond ourselves. This might involve exploring personal beliefs, engaging in mindfulness practices, or fostering a deeper relationship with the world around us.

Intellectual Wellness

Intellectual wellness emphasizes continuous learning and mental stimulation. Staying curious and open to new perspectives keeps our minds adaptable and engaged.

Social Wellness

Healthy relationships and a sense of belonging are critical for emotional support and personal growth. Holistic counselling often involves improving communication and setting boundaries to foster meaningful connections.

Environmental Wellness

The spaces we inhabit impact our mood, health, and energy. A cluttered or toxic environment can contribute to stress and stagnation. Holistic counselling helps clients create spaces that nurture well-being.

Financial Wellness

Financial stability contributes to peace of mind. Financial stress often spills over into relationships and mental health, creating a ripple effect.

Occupational Wellness

Finding fulfillment in our work lives boosts our overall happiness and sense of purpose. Holistic counselling helps clients align their careers with their values and goals.

Understanding Interconnectedness

picture of a person with their arms stretches above their head looking toward body of water and sky with clouds Holistic counselling recognizes that our lives are intricately woven together. Family dynamics, cultural influences, belief systems, and even epigenetics—the way our environment influences gene expression—all play a role in shaping who we are. For more on epigenetics, read this post.

Consider a client seeking help for stress: their challenges may stem from work pressures, unresolved childhood experiences, or even dietary habits. Holistic counselling addresses these layers, helping clients uncover root causes and achieve lasting change.

The Role of Safe Relationships

A cornerstone of holistic counselling is creating a safe, secure therapeutic relationship. This environment allows clients to explore their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. For many, this is the first step toward healing.

Safe relationships foster trust, helping clients develop secure attachment patterns. These patterns improve self-esteem, communication, and boundary-setting—essential tools for personal growth.

The Mind-Body Connection

As a fitness expert, I’ve seen how the body holds onto stress, trauma, and emotions. Physical manifestations like tension or chronic pain often have emotional roots. Holistic counselling incorporates practices like mindfulness, yoga, and somatic therapies to release stored tension and promote harmony.

For example, clients struggling with anxiety might explore breathing exercises or body scans to reconnect with their physical selves. These techniques can help calm the nervous system and foster a sense of balance.

Uncovering Beliefs and Patterns

Our belief systems, often formed in childhood, shape our perceptions and behaviors. Many of these beliefs operate unconsciously, influencing how we respond to life’s challenges. Holistic counselling helps clients identify and reframe unhelpful beliefs, empowering them to create healthier patterns.

For instance, someone struggling with self-doubt might uncover a belief rooted in early experiences of criticism. By exploring these origins, clients can develop self-compassion and build confidence.

Connection: The Heart of Healing

Connection is central to holistic counselling. This includes:

Connection to Self: Developing self-awareness through mindfulness and reflection.
Connection to Others: Strengthening relationships through improved communication and understanding.
Connection to the World: Finding purpose and alignment with one’s values and environment.

When we feel connected, we experience a sense of wholeness and belonging. Holistic counselling helps clients restore these connections, creating a foundation for lasting wellness.

2 persons with mandala in between them and 3 more circles

Becoming Your Best Self

Holistic counselling isn’t about fixing what’s broken; it’s about supporting individuals in becoming the best version of themselves. This process is deeply personal, guided by each client’s unique needs and goals.

As clients address one area of their lives, positive changes often ripple into others. A shift in perspective can lead to healthier relationships, increased motiva

tion, and greater inner peace. It’s a journey of self-discovery and empowerment.

Why Choose Holistic Counselling in Nanaimo?

In a fast-paced world that often prioritizes quick fixes, holistic counselling offers a compassionate and comprehensive approach. At Vancouver Island Holistic Counselling, we believe in addressing every dimension of wellness to help clients achieve true balance and fulfillment.

Ready to Begin Your Journey?

If you’re ready to explore your interconnectedness and take steps toward a more balanced, fulfilling life, we invite you to learn more. Contact us at info@vancouverislandholisticcounselling.ca to start your journey to wellness today.

Your path to holistic healing starts here.

Make sure you check: “Elevate Your Workplace Wellness with the “Strong Body, Strong Mind” Workshop“

Awareness of Breath & Posture: The Key to Present-Moment Focus
Learn how the breath connects the body and mind. We’ll teach techniques for deep, mindful breathing that helps regulate the nervous system, reduce stress, and improve concentration. We’ll also explore the difference between nose and mouth breathing and how correct breathing habits positively impact health.
Understanding Your Nervous System: How Trauma and Stress Affect the Body
We’ll dive into how trauma is stored in the body, affecting the nervous system and potentially leading to chronic tension or dysregulation. Discover how breathwork can release built-up tension and help balance the nervous system for better stress management and emotional resilience.
Physical Fitness Fundamentals: Strength, Mobility, Flexibility, and Cardiovascular Health
We’ll explore the four primary components of fitness and how each one contributes to overall health. From strength-building movements like squats and deadlifts to enhancing mobility through stretching, employees will learn exercises they can do right at their desks or at home to stay strong and flexible.
Mobility vs. Flexibility: Why Both Matter
We’ll explain the difference between mobility (joint range of motion) and flexibility (muscle length), and show your team exercises that improve both. We’ll cover active vs. passive stretching and demonstrate essential movements like wall angels, shoulder dislocations, and kneeling knee circles.
Nutrition & Hydration: Fueling the Body for Optimal Health
Understand the importance of a balanced, anti-inflammatory diet that supports long-term health. We’ll also cover the importance of hydration and how proper water intake supports everything from cognitive function to joint health.
Wellness Beyond the Physical: Exploring the Dimensions of Health
True wellness is multidimensional. In this section, we’ll discuss how physical health is connected to emotional, spiritual, social, and mental well-being, and how employees can create balance in their lives to support their full well-being.

Epigenetics: Unlocking the Power of Your Genes Through Holistic Therapy 2024

by Veronique Rioux | Nov 7, 2024 | news

person image with little dots disintegrating and dna image beside person In recent years, the field of epigenetics has revolutionized how we understand the connection between our environment, behaviors, and genetic expression. Epigenetics is the study of changes in gene activity that do not involve alterations to the DNA sequence itself but can still be passed down to future generations. Essentially, our genes can be influenced by external factors like stress, diet, exercise, trauma, and emotional well-being. This emerging science opens new doors in holistic therapy, both for online and in-person counseling. Understanding epigenetics empowers you to break free from generational patterns, creating a healthier and more balanced life.

What is Epigenetics?

what is epigenetics image with arrows and explanation Epigenetics literally means “above genetics.” It refers to chemical modifications that occur on the DNA or on proteins associated with DNA (such as histones) that regulate how genes are expressed. These modifications can turn genes “on” or “off” without changing the genetic code itself.

For example, if your family has a history of anxiety, depression, or chronic illness, traditional wisdom might suggest that you are destined to follow a similar path. However, epigenetics shows that while you may inherit certain genetic tendencies, external factors and lifestyle choices can greatly influence how these genes are expressed. This means that, through holistic therapy, you can actively create change, promoting health and well-being by making conscious choices in your life.

In my therapy sessions, whether online or in-person in Nanaimo, I integrate epigenetic principles into our work. I aim to help you rewrite the narrative of your life and step into a new way of being, free from the limiting beliefs and patterns that may have been passed down through generations.

How Epigenetics Impacts Mental Health

image of women, wthen pregnant, kid, older person and again infant with arrows between images Mental health concerns such as anxiety, depression, PTSD, and other mood disorders can be influenced by both genetic predispositions and environmental triggers. While it’s true that some individuals are more genetically inclined to develop these conditions, epigenetics teaches us that we are not helpless. Our mental health is not solely defined by our genes. Instead, factors like stress, trauma, nutrition, and even the social environment can play a pivotal role in determining which genes are activated and which remain dormant.

This understanding brings hope. In my holistic therapy sessions, I work with you to identify the triggers and influences that may have activated certain genetic expressions. Whether you choose online therapy or in-person counseling in Nanaimo, I can help you address these concerns, focusing on a deep understanding of your unique genetic and environmental background.

Epigenetic Trauma and Generational Healing

One of the most compelling areas of epigenetics is the concept of inherited trauma. Studies show that trauma experienced by one generation can be passed down epigenetically to future generations. For example, children or grandchildren of individuals who have experienced war, genocide, or abuse may display heightened anxiety or stress responses, even if they have never experienced the trauma themselves.

I understand how generational trauma can manifest in present-day struggles. My therapeutic techniques are designed to help you address not only your personal history but also the inherited patterns that may be affecting your well-being. Through approaches such as somatic therapy, mindfulness, and trauma-informed counseling, I support you in breaking free from inherited cycles of pain and making space for healing.

Whether you prefer to work with me online or in-person at my Nanaimo office, I provide a safe and supportive environment where you can explore and release these deep-rooted patterns.

The Role of Lifestyle in Epigenetic Expression

One of the most empowering aspects of epigenetics is the realization that we have a degree of control over how our genes are expressed. By making conscious choices in key areas of life, you can positively influence your health, both physically and mentally.

Here are some lifestyle factors that can impact epigenetic expression:

1. Nutrition

A balanced diet rich in vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants can have a significant impact on epigenetic markers. Certain nutrients, such as folate, B vitamins, and polyphenols found in fruits and vegetables, have been shown to support healthy gene expression. I recognize the importance of nutrition in mental health and can incorporate holistic nutritional counseling into our therapy sessions. Together, we’ll explore how diet can support emotional balance and overall wellness.

2. Stress Management

Chronic stress is one of the most significant contributors to negative epigenetic changes. Stress hormones like cortisol can alter the expression of genes linked to inflammation and immune response, leading to increased risk of depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues. Through stress management techniques such as mindfulness meditation, breathwork, and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), I can provide tools to help you reduce stress and improve your mental resilience.

3. Physical Activity

Regular exercise is known to have a profound effect on gene expression. Physical activity can turn on genes associated with longevity and turn off genes related to inflammation and stress. Whether you prefer outdoor activities or structured fitness routines, I can help you create a plan that works for your body and lifestyle. I may also incorporate movement-based therapies to release stored emotions and trauma from the body, supporting both mental and physical healing.

4. Mind-Body Practices

Practices like yoga, tai chi, and qigong have been shown to influence gene expression by reducing stress, improving mood, and enhancing mental clarity. These practices not only calm the mind but also have a measurable impact on the epigenetic markers associated with stress and inflammation. I offer these modalities, both online and in-person, as part of a comprehensive approach to healing.

Holistic Therapy and Epigenetics: A Synergistic Approach

My approach to therapy is holistic, addressing the mind, body, and spirit in every session. By integrating the principles of epigenetics, I provide clients with tools to rewrite their genetic narrative, empowering them to create lasting change.

Online Therapy for Convenience and Accessibility

If you’re unable to attend sessions in person, online therapy offers a convenient and effective alternative. Virtual sessions mirror the depth and quality of in-person counseling, allowing you to work on your healing journey from the comfort of your home. Online therapy is ideal if you’re living in remote areas, dealing with time constraints, or experiencing mobility issues.

In-Person Therapy in Nanaimo

For those who prefer face-to-face interaction, in-person sessions in Nanaimo offer a peaceful and welcoming environment where you can explore your mental and emotional health. Whether you’re working through personal trauma, relationship challenges, or seeking to improve overall well-being, my holistic approach ensures that every aspect of your experience is considered. To read more check this post: Discovering Holistic Healing: My Unique Approach to Therapy and Counselling on Vancouver Island

Empowering Change with Epigenetic Insights

The science of epigenetics gives you the power to influence your mental and physical health. You are not defined by your genetic predispositions. In my online and in-person therapy sessions, I help you take control of your well-being, guiding you toward a healthier and more fulfilling life.

By combining holistic approaches with the latest research in epigenetics, I offer personalized therapeutic solutions that address the root causes of your challenges. Whether you’re struggling with anxiety, depression, trauma, or simply seeking personal growth, I’m here to support you every step of the way.

Breathwork, the Nervous System, and Epigenetic Trauma: Healing the Body Through Somatic Practices 2024

by Veronique Rioux | Oct 6, 2024 | news

In recent years, there’s been a growing interest in how the breath can be used to heal the mind, body, and spirit, especially in the context of trauma and stress. Breathwork, which involves consciously controlling the breath to regulate the body’s functions, is gaining recognition as a powerful tool in addressing nervous system dysregulation and even epigenetic trauma. Somatic practices, which focus on the body’s role in emotional healing, have shown remarkable results in helping people release deeply stored trauma.

In this post, we’ll explore the connection between breathwork, the nervous system, and how trauma—both personal and inherited—can be stored in the body. We’ll also discuss the role of epigenetic trauma and how somatic therapies can help release these traumas for greater emotional and physical well-being.

What is Breathwork?

Breathwork refers to various practices that use breath awareness and control to influence physical, emotional, and mental states. In many ancient traditions, the breath is seen as the essence of life—referred to as prana in yoga or qi in Chinese medicine. Science now confirms what these traditions have long known: breathing patterns have a profound effect on our health, particularly when it comes to managing stress, anxiety, and trauma.

By changing how we breathe, we can influence the autonomic nervous system, which controls involuntary functions like heart rate, digestion, and respiratory rate. Breathwork offers an accessible and powerful way to regulate our body’s stress responses, calm the mind, and facilitate deep emotional healing.

The Nervous System: The Breath’s Powerful Impact

The autonomic nervous system (ANS) is divided into two primary branches: the sympathetic nervous system (SNS) and the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS). These two systems are often referred to as the “fight-or-flight” and “rest-and-digest” systems, respectively.

Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS): When we are stressed, anxious, or feel threatened, the SNS kicks into high gear. This system is responsible for the classic “fight, flight, or freeze” response. It prepares the body for action by increasing heart rate, redirecting blood flow to the muscles, and quickening the breath. However, when the SNS is chronically activated due to prolonged stress or trauma, it can lead to ongoing issues such as anxiety, insomnia, digestive problems, and high blood pressure.
Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS): The PNS is the body’s way of hitting the reset button. When activated, it promotes relaxation, slows down the heart rate, lowers blood pressure, and encourages deep, restorative breathing. Breathwork, particularly slow, deep diaphragmatic breathing, stimulates the vagus nerve, which is a key player in activating the PNS. This is why practices like yoga and meditation place such a heavy emphasis on breath control—by consciously shifting our breathing, we can calm our nervous system and bring ourselves back into balance.

Trauma and the Body: How Stress is Stored

When we experience trauma—whether from a car accident, childhood abuse, or even an ongoing toxic relationship—it affects both the mind and the body. Trauma is not just a mental or emotional issue; it also leaves a physical imprint on the body. This is where somatic therapy comes in.

Somatic therapy recognizes that the body holds onto stress and trauma, sometimes for years or even generations. Traumatic experiences trigger the fight-or-flight response, which, if not properly processed, can lead to chronic tension, pain, and even illness. This unprocessed trauma becomes stored in the body’s tissues, contributing to nervous system dysregulation and emotional suppression.

Muscular tension: Have you ever noticed how your shoulders tense up when you’re stressed or how anxiety can make it hard to breathe deeply? Trauma often manifests as chronic muscle tension, particularly in the chest, shoulders, neck, and lower back. This tension can restrict breathing, causing us to take shallow breaths, which further activates the stress response.
Chronic pain: Many people who suffer from chronic pain, such as headaches, neck pain, or back pain, may be dealing with unresolved trauma stored in the body. This pain can persist even when there is no obvious physical cause, often baffling both patients and healthcare providers.
Nervous system dysregulation: Trauma can also keep the body stuck in a state of hyperarousal (constantly on edge) or hypoarousal (numb, disconnected). People with unresolved trauma may find themselves alternating between feeling hypervigilant and anxious and feeling emotionally numb or dissociated. This can lead to a host of problems, including anxiety, depression, insomnia, and difficulties in relationships.

Epigenetic Trauma: Inherited Stress

The idea that trauma can be passed down through generations is not just a metaphor—science is beginning to show that trauma can be passed down biologically through changes in gene expression. This phenomenon is known as epigenetic trauma.

Epigenetics refers to changes in gene expression that don’t involve alterations in the DNA sequence itself. These changes can be triggered by environmental factors, including stress and trauma. For example, studies have shown that children and grandchildren of Holocaust survivors exhibit signs of trauma, even though they didn’t directly experience the events their ancestors did.

In essence, traumatic experiences can leave a biological imprint, altering the way genes are expressed and predisposing future generations to heightened stress responses, anxiety, and depression. This doesn’t mean that trauma is a life sentence—it means that by addressing both the psychological and physical aspects of trauma, we can heal not only ourselves but also break the cycle for future generations. You can read more about epigenetics here.

Breathwork and Somatic Therapy: Tools for Healing Trauma

Because trauma is stored in the body, it makes sense that the body must play a role in healing it. Somatic therapies, which include modalities like yoga, bodywork, and breathwork, aim to release the stored tension and emotional blockages caused by trauma. These practices work by creating a bridge between the mind and body, allowing us to process and release emotions that may have been suppressed for years.

Breathwork as a Somatic Tool

Breathwork is a particularly powerful tool for trauma healing because it gives us direct access to the nervous system. By consciously controlling our breath, we can calm the nervous system, release stored tension, and create a space for repressed emotions to surface. It can also help with mindfulness practice, read more here.

Certain types of breathwork, such as holotropic breathwork or pranayama, are designed to bring people into altered states of consciousness where they can access deeply buried emotions and memories. In these states, people may re-experience traumatic events, but in a safe and controlled way, allowing them to process and release the emotions associated with the trauma.

Reprogramming the Nervous System

Breathwork doesn’t just help release trauma—it also helps reprogram the nervous system. By regularly practicing breathwork, we can increase vagal tone, which refers to the strength of the vagus nerve’s ability to activate the parasympathetic nervous system. A stronger vagal tone means we’re better able to calm ourselves down in stressful situations and return to a state of relaxation more quickly.

Over time, this helps us shift from a trauma-induced state of constant stress or emotional numbness to a state of balance and emotional resilience.

Healing Trauma and Building Resilience

Trauma, whether it’s personal or inherited, leaves a lasting impact on both the mind and body. However, through breathwork and somatic practices, we can begin to release this trauma, reprogram our nervous system, and build emotional resilience. By focusing on the body’s natural healing abilities and the power of the breath, we can move towards greater well-being, not just for ourselves, but for future generations as well.

If you’re interested in learning more about how breathwork and somatic therapy can help with trauma healing, contact us today. Together, we can begin the journey of healing the body, mind, and spirit.

Breaking Free: Healing from the Legacy of Emotionally Immature Parents in Nanaimo

by Veronique Rioux | Feb 15, 2024 | news

cover of the book emotionally immature parents Emotional maturity means knowing how to control your emotions, taking responsibility for your mistakes instead of blaming others, and being accepting of other people’s points of view. Unfortunately, being an adult does not equal being emotionally mature, and that can have negative consequences on their children.Embark on a transformative journey in the heart of Nanaimo, Vancouver Island, as we delve into the profound insights shared by clinical psychologist Lindsay C. Gibson in her groundbreaking book, “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents.” If you grew up with emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parents, the echoes of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment may resonate within you. This post is a guiding light for those who recall childhood as a time when emotional needs went unmet, feelings were dismissed, and adult responsibilities were shouldered prematurely. cover of the book adult children of emotionally immature parents

Understanding Emotional Immature parents: A Path to Healing

Lindsay C. Gibson unveils the destructive nature of emotionally immature parents, exposing the wounds they inflict on their children. If you find resonance in the four types of difficult parents – the emotional, the driven, the passive, and the rejecting – know that you are not alone. Through the therapeutic lens of Nanaimo, we explore how emotional immaturity impacts children’s development and guide you on a journey of healing and self-discovery. You may likely recognize aspects of your own experiences or relationships with caregivers in these categories. Let’s explore each type of difficult parents:

Emotional Parents:
- Resonance Explanation: If you identify with emotional parents, you might relate to a household where emotions are intense, and feelings play a significant role in interactions. Emotional parents may be prone to mood swings or may express themselves passionately.
- Impact on You: You might have grown up navigating a range of emotions and perhaps developed heightened sensitivity or empathy.
Driven Parents:
- Resonance Explanation: If you resonate with driven parents, your upbringing may have been characterized by a strong focus on achievement, success, and high expectations. Driven parents may emphasize goals and accomplishments.
- Impact on You: You might have internalized a strong work ethic or perfectionistic tendencies, seeking validation through achievements.
Passive Parents:
- Resonance Explanation: If you connect with passive parents, your family dynamics may have been marked by a lack of assertiveness, a tendency to avoid conflict, or a hands-off approach to parenting.
- Impact on You: You might have developed self-reliance or independence but could also face challenges in assertiveness or conflict resolution.
Rejecting Parents:
- Resonance Explanation: If you resonate with rejecting parents, you may have experienced emotional distance, neglect, or a lack of support. Rejecting parents may struggle with emotional connection.
- Impact on You: You might have grappled with feelings of unworthiness or developed coping mechanisms to navigate relationships and seek validation elsewhere.

Understanding these categories can be a powerful step towards self-awareness. It allows you to recognize patterns from your past and how they may have shaped your present behaviors, beliefs, and interpersonal dynamics. Exploring these dynamics can contribute to personal growth and help you build healthier relationships by fostering empathy, self-compassion, and the development of effective coping strategies. If these dynamics significantly impact your well-being, seeking professional support can also be beneficial.

Reclaiming Your True Nature

The emotional wounds inflicted by emotionally immature parents can be profound, creating a sense of neglect that lingers into adulthood. In Nanaimo’s counselling sessions, we empower you to break free from this emotional immaturity, reclaim your true nature, and regain control over your reactions. Lindsay C. Gibson’s insights become a roadmap for navigating the pain and confusion caused by your childhood.

Building Positive, New Relationships

Breaking free from the grip of emotionally immature parents is a step towards creating positive, new relationships. Discover how you can build a better life, free from the disappointments imposed by your past. A counsellor can guide you towards understanding and overcoming limiting beliefs, paving the way for healthier connections.

The Counsellor’s Role in Your Journey

How can a counsellor assist you on this transformative journey? Counsellor specialize in helping individuals break free from the patterns and behaviors ingrained by emotionally immature parents. Counselling can increase awareness, enable self-understanding, and guide you towards emotional maturity. Through therapeutic interventions, you can navigate the complexities of your past and create a future defined by positive, fulfilling relationships.

As we navigate the insights offered by Lindsay C. Gibson, this post becomes a companion on your journey to healing from the legacy of emotionally immature parents. Know that you deserve to be here, alive, and valued. Embrace the opportunity to understand your emotional landscape, break free from the patterns of the past, and embark on a transformative path towards emotional maturity. Let this post be a testament to your strength and resilience, guiding you towards a future defined by positive relationships and a life well-lived.

Also if you are looking for balance in your life on a physical level make sure you check this post: “The Importance of Balance as We Age: A Comprehensive Guide to Staying Steady and Strong.”

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